Misc Fics - LotRIPS
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Title: Boredom
Author: clex_monkie89
Rating: PG-13 for Language and Boy!Humor
Summary: Early mornings and long meetings make for slap-happy boys.
Authors Notes: Inspired by a note I wrote yesterday while on down-time and working. Said note is at the end.
Originally posted: 04-26-2005


Orlando.

Oh god, what time is it? 7:43? It's only seven thirty and I've been up for nearly two hours. Forty-three minutes of which has been spent in this utter bore of a meeting. Blah blah wig, blah blah feet, blah blah lube. Wait lube? Oh. Right. The sweat. Christ on a cruise missile this is inane. Where did my pen go...ah!

Mother of G-d if thisgot anymore boring I would have to hurt myself!!! :(

Elijah.
...
...
...
AH! The fucking hell man? Stop stabbing me you bastard I'm trying to sleep! What the shit is wrong with you you fucking idiot?
...
Well no shit this is boring. Fucking pen-poking, hobbit-waking, idiot. Wanker. Not idiot, wanker. uhhhg.

FUck MAN I kNow what you meaN those thiNgs are SOOOO boriNg!!!!!!!!!

Dom.

This is the song that doesn't end, yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that doesn't end, yes it goes on and on my friend, some people--hey. Ooh! Paper! Mostly blank paper! Blessed mother of mercy, entertainment!

DOM

Hey!

Billy.

Billy DOM ruleRS of THE UnivErSE

Dom.

4 EVAR !

Billy.

Orlando is a big girls blouse!

Elijah.

Give it! Bastards. Coffee-hogs. Nicotine-depriving, coffee-hogging ass-bags. Stupid pieces of...heh. Big girls blouse.

: (

Dom.

Hee.

DOMEH IS SO SEXY
AND i WANT TO HAVE HIS BABBEHS
SIGNED BILLY


Elijah.

So fucking true man.

Is So true

Hey! Quit it! Stop hitting me! Fine then! Take it fucker! Wanker! Take it wanker!
...
Wow. That sounds bad. Heh-heh.

Dom.

Babbehs, it must be babbehs! Babbehs in the morning, babbehs in the evening, babbehs at suppertime, when babbehs on a--oh. Wait.

ORLANDO WANTS TO HAVE VIGSES BABBEHS!

Heh. Leggy's all preggers now. Those boots are going to kill his--her--it's feet.

Orlando.

8:07. I'm in hell. I must be. That or stuck in another dimension where time crawls backwards slowly. Wilde didn't have meetings this long. Neither did Casualty. I think. Maybe it has something to do with New Zealand. That's it. New Zealand is in another dimension. It explains quite a lot really.
...
...
...
8:08. AH! I'm going to fall asleep. I really am, I am going to make it through the entire day and I am going to eat and then get into my jeep and I am going to fall asleep at the wheel and die. I'll be smeared all over the tarmac and then Viggo will come and take pictures of my mess and display it in a gallery called "Bob the Weasel" and millions of people will come for miles around to lament on the beauty that is my gravel-engraved pile of flesh and Mum will get up and proclaim that she always knew I would die a mess and that I probably wasn't even wearing any underwear much less clean underwear and that I should have been a chemist or something else safe like that. Shit I need to do laundry I'm down to my last pants, and I'm positive I wore these trousers last...Thursday? When did I have mustard last? Oh god. I hope that's mustard. It's yellow.
...
God I really hope it's mustard. Hmm? Hey!

Whats wrong with my ass?

Elijah.

So blonde it hurts like something that pains a lot.

Dude, *thats* bugging you?

Billy.

Orlando Less than thr3ees Viggo!

Orlando.

Do not!

Dom.

Do ART? Who the hell is art? Oh. Not. Bloody hell somebody needs to get him a new pen and some writing lessons.

Do to!

Orlando.

Did I miss a memo? Is this pick on Orlando day or something?

Do not!

Stupid pen.

Elijah.

HE LIES! HE LIES LIKE A LIEING LIAR WITH HIS PANTS ALL AFLAME!

You so totaly do Man!

Orlando.

Traitor.

Fuck off!

Sean.

I wonder if anyone would notice if I just stood up and started screaming for no reason.

Dom.

Baby. I mean Babbeh. Hey! Give that back! Fat Bas--

Sean.

leave him alone guys.

Orlando.

Thank you ASStin

Sean.

its perfectly fine if he is in love with Viggo.

Orlando.

What the hell does that say?

Elijah.

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!

Orlando.

fuck you man!

Sean.

wouldn't Viggo get mad?

Orlando.

What? What is it with Americans and not writing letters in their...writing. Thing.

Elijah.

HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH!! Holy fuck dude you rock so hard man. Astin, you are my new hero!

Orlando.

Oh you tub of--

You know You--

NO! GIVE IT BACK!

Viggo.

...
...
...
...
How is it that I got labeled the crazy one in this group. This confirms it. This isn't a movie set. It's either a mass delusion or a very elaborately decorated asylum.
...
...
Who in hell drew that? I've seen shit-splatters that looked better then that.
...
...
Asylum. It's definitely an asylum.

Are we still on for 8?

Orlando.

Oh man.

Don'tturnreddon'tturnreddon'tturnreddon't turn--hee Oh god. I didn't just giggle did I? Oh no I did. Oh kill me now. Wait. Kill me later, I need a goodbye fuck first.

Uh-huh

hee. hee hee! Mother of mercy I'm such a girl.

Billy.

Ah new eet!

Told YOU SO!!

~ ~ ~ ~

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